Dragonflies

Subject: Dragonflies Thu Dec 23, 2010 9:41 pm

Last summer was my last summer in Oglethorpe. I
lived there since I was eight and this was going to be my first year of
high school so I figured, I would make my one month left count. My best
friend, Destiny, she was twelve at the time, I was thirteen; we hung
out everyday and did everything together. I am sadly not in contact with
her anymore. I was jealous of her. She was everything I wasn't. She was
tall, blonde, tan and had the bluest eyes I had ever seen. Not to
mention the piercings. This is a story of love, hate, heart break and
loss. This is a draft, I hope you enjoy it. I introduce, Dragonflies.

Dragonflies

"
I'll get it! " I screamed at my mom who was in the shower and her phone
was ringing. We had cell phones, not house phones. So of course I
didn't have one of my own, parents. If you want one, buy it yourself.
With what money, seriously?
" Hello? " I panted into the reciever. I
sounded like I had just had rough sex, or that is what I imagined, not
that I had sex. I had ran through the woods, my daily routine before the
construction crews came in months before and started tearing my world
down. I was a treehugger.
" Hey Marissa! "
" Dessy! What's going
on, chica? " Destiny shared my pain of living in an all black
neighborhood. We were the ony white girls that didn't do anything for
money, and everyone knew us. We got along now.
" Can I come over? "
She called everyday that she wasn't here to ask. Just then my mom came
out. " Mom is it okay if Dest--" She cut me off. " I don't care. "
" Sure. See you in two minutes."

When
Brandi's blue van pulled in I ran out the door and flew into Destiny's
arms. Then I hugged her fourteen year old sister, Paige. Paige drove
back and forth from my house to their house on a daily basis. I had been
in the car with her many times and I loved it. Especially when we went
joyriding.
" Sup, Marissa? " Paige was indian so she was considered half black. No racist remarks against her.
"
Nothin' Angel just had kittens. " This was true. One of them was breach
and my dad had to turn it. That was the nastiest thing I had seen since
school ended.
" Aww lemme see! " Paige ran in the house, cigarette
in hand. I used to smoke with them all the time, but I kicked the habit
after I got in trouble with Defax. Defax found out about my abuse as a
child and thought it was still going on, so naturally they searched my
house and tried to take me away from my parents. That was fun.

When
we got inside Paige was hovering over the box of three kittens. " They
some precious babies, aren't they? " She petted Angel. Angel knew Paige
and Destiny quite well now. Even during the school year we were
constantly back and forth. Sleepovers everynight. Even school nights. I
especially stayed with them when their brother, Brandon " Ty ", was
staying. He was a messed up kid. He got expelled from Oglethorpe and
moved back to Mississippi with his dad after that. I had met the sisters
when they moved here after Katrina hit New Orleans. I had bonded with
Destiny instantly, I knew what it was like being the new kid. Brandon
was okay, then.
" Hey, Dee. " My mom called from the kitchen. She
and my dad thought of Destiny and Paige as their own daughters. It was
nice being close to someone for once. I wasn't closer to anyone than
Destiny, every time I tried, it slipped away and I was left heartbroken.

" Hi, Miss Melody. " She went over and gave my mom a hug. I never
hugged my mother. That was the difference between my relationship with
my mom, and her relationship with Destiny. She loved her more.
I on the other hand always hugged Brandi. It was weird, but I trusted her mom more than my own.

"
I'm going to put my stuff in your room, okay? " She was already
walking. I sat on the arm of the couch, next to Paige as she finished
her cigarette and put it out. " Are you still moving? " She asked me. I
hated the subject, but it had been a possibility since Febuary. We all
knew it was coming and we all dreaded it. I didn't want to leave. I mean
sure, most of the people in this neighborhood wanted me dead, but the
other half loved me, for not being racist, no matter how much they tried
to stir me up in the beginning. I hadn't fought back, for once in my
life. I had never been racist and never would be. My stepdad; my dad,
was in fact Cuban. That didn't change the matter.
" I don't know, " I whispered.
" I hope you don't. I'm going to miss you. You're a good child. Destiny needs a good friend. "
" Thanks Paige. " Paige was like my older sister. She watched out for me. Even my older brothers had never done that.
Destiny
came back and was on her phone. " Marissa, its Connor. " She rolled her
eyes. He was a guy my friend, WHitney had introduced me to. He was nice
enough, but kind of a pervert for a homeschooled boy.
" Okay. " We
talked to Connor every night, along with Henry. I had known Henry since I
was ten years old. I would never forget him if I tried, the first time I
met him, he told me he was going to kill me and then he chased me up
the hallway. Lets just say, Henry had issues.

In my room I
stared around at all the familiar things I had collected to make it my
sanctuary. My bookshelf covered in famous work, as well as classic. From
Poe to Faulkener, to Meyer to Dessen. My Twilight posters. One on the
ceiling above my pillow and the rest in various spots around the room.
My day bed aganist the window facing the driveway, which led up the dirt
road I lived on. My fluffy purple, blue and pink curtains. The pink
ones haning over the closet opening. No door. Blue and purple mixed on
both windows. I had a blue mobile hanging over my bed. It was a filmy
net material and The ring that held everything together, had my prized
possessions on it. My dragonfly necklaces. A diamond one my parents gave
me for Christmas, a black one my mom gave me as a present and the
dragonfly pin an ex-boyfriend had given me. Sure it was a weird thing to
keep, but it was a dragonfly.
Paige came in and announced she was leaving. Everythime she came in my room she eyed the mobile, she had always wanted one.
"
Mama gave me these for you. " She reached down her shirt and pulled out
three cigarettes and handed them to Destiny. I had tried to get her to
quit, we had started together, but it wasn't a good thing when she
didn't have her daily nicotine rush.
" Thanks Paige-yy. "
" I'll
call tomorrow, maybe we can go to Watson's Mill. " Watson's Mill was a
park with a covered bridge on the river. The waterfall area was a place
we went for swimming. It had trails, playgrounds, everything. Including
snakes. I shuddered.
" If we go, Marissa you wanna come with us? "
" Sure. "
We put the phone on speaker and Connor went on and
on about getting high. We doubted he did drugs, but when along with it.
And then Henry got on the line. After a few insults Henry made a remark
that changed everything. " Destiny, that's not what happened the last
time I saw your mama. I banged her real good, and she willingly gave in.
" It was a joke, but Destiny was really protective about her mom.
" Shut the f*** up Henry! "
" It was just a joke. "
" I don't care. Talk about my mama again, and I will personally see to it that your neck is broken. "
She
had the kind of phone that flipped half way up the phone so it could be
closed and if you didn't end the call, it still went on. The cool part
is the person you're talking to, can't hear you.

So we sat there laughing as they tried to figure out how we were still on the line yet we had ' hung up. '
Boys
are stupid, we thought. Mom called us to get pizza then. Destiny loved
being at my house. I had a flat screen in my room and a lot of modern
technology because my parents liked to bribe me. Every time I did
something wrong, they would buy me a present. I hated that, couldn't
they just love me?

Pepperoni was my favorite, but all kinds
were good to me. I loved pizza. We had left the phone in my room so we
could eat in peace and not have to explain to my parents about the two
idiotic boys on the other line. We sat at the dining room table, no one
else ate there and when Destiny wasn't over, I ate alone. We looked out
the window. It was dusk and the fireflies were just coming out. We had
always talked about catching them in jars. Neither of us had ever tried
it and we wondered what people saw when they closed the lid, blocking
the freedom of something beautiful. Destiny was the first to speak. "
What are you thinking about? "
" Life. " I snorted. What was life?

To me life was meaningless. I often referred to a quote from Bleach. I was an anime freak and proud of it.
There is no meaning to our world.
There is no meaning to those of us living there.
We meaningless beings ponder the world,
Though the realization of meaninglessness
itself means nothing.

" What part of life? "
"
There is no part to life. " I muttered. My dad looked over and I looked
down, suddenly interested in the cheese on my pizza and how it
stretched.
" Destiny, are you only staying, tonight? " My parents
loved it when I had friends over, they liked Destiny better than
Whitney. Though, this made sense; Whitney was a klepto.
" I'm not sure. Paige said she'd call tomorrow and see if we could go to Watson's Mill, is it okay if Marissa comes with us? "
" Of course, she can go. "
I had so much freedom. I was allowed to do what I wanted as long as I was with them.

We
stood at the sink and did our dishes. My parents were the kind of
parents, ' if you dirtited it, or if its in the sink when you get there,
wash it. '
" What do you think of Connor? " She asked. I was lost in thought and almost dropped my dish.
" What? "
" Connor? What do you thik of him? "
" As what? "
" As Connor? "
There was no way to ask, no word to describe the kid.
" He's kind of stupid, but I guess he's alright. Why? "
" Because I think I like him. "
"
That's nice. " I was happy for her, but boys really weren't my thing. I
wasn't a lesbian, but boys got on my nerves, and that explains why most
of my friends were guys.They were still talking when we got back in the room.
Idiots. Finally, we just hung up, tired of their crap. Destiny and I
loved a lot of the same things. We liked the same music, tv shows, with a
few exceptions. I had a DVD set of The Lucy Show. We watched it, all
the time. Everytime she came over. Her favorite episode was Lucy Gets
Caught in the Draft. Mine was The Shower. We almost wet ourselves
everytime, from laughing. Always the same, mimicking the scens and
doubleing over on the floor laughing. I missed those times. Destiny
always comforted me when I needed it and my life was soiled, so I needed
it.

A few days before Valentines Day my boyfriend had broken
up with me. I cut my wrists and my arms all up. I continued at school.
Destiny came over on Valentines Day and brought me a box of candy
hearts. I cried and she stayed the night with me. I started smoking
again, that night. We shared a big box of candy my grandmother had sent
and dies laughing while watching Cheaper By the Dozen. I would never
forget that night, four months ago.

Sleep that night came at
about midnight. I gave her my bed because we had tried sleeping in it
together too many times and barely succeeded in not killing each other. I
took the floor in my bra and jeans. I didn't mind, I slept on the floor
when my back was giving me problems. I woke up the next morning and
found an annoying bird outside my window. I threw an apple core at him
and stood up, stretching. My back popped and I turned finding Destiny
still asleep. I ran the brush through my hair and got dressed. Torn
black crossbone stalkings, a denim mini skirt and a tight black top. My
normal wardrobe. I walked out into the kitchen and got a bowl of ceral.
" Dee up? " My mom asked. It was seven thirty.
" No, and I don't want to wake her. "
" Are you going swimming? "
" I don't know mom. " I was getting annoyed.
" Don't be crabiss. "
I rolled my eyes.

Destiny came out rubbing her eyes. " Marissa? "
" Yeah, I'm right here, darling. "
" Can you make me some peanut butter toast? "
I had made that for her once, she was expecting it to be gross, but found that she loved it.
" Yeah, I'm right here, darling. "
" Can you make me some peanut butter toast? "
I had made that for her once, she was expecting it to be gross, but found that she loved it.
The toaster popped up as I pulled the jar of Jif out
of the cabinet. Destiny sat at the table, rubbing her eyes and looking
out the window. I cut the pieces in two and brought her the dish.
" Aren't you going to eat any? " She took a bite and closed her eyes.
"
No. " I sipped absentmindedly at my juice. I liked juice, I hated food.
That's when my eating disorer took over. I had been skipping meals for
years now. I found myself purging most of the time. Destiny cried
everytime she came over when I would make a trip to ' go take a shower. '
All I really did was run the water, while I used the theory of the
Romans.
When stuffed to the gills, push reject. The Romans had it
right. Then I would step into the shower and wrap myself in a towel.
Simple.

" Marissa, are you still? " She pointed to her throat. I nodded, staring at the flatscreen.
" You don't need to do that, darling. "
" Yes, I do. " I gave her a look that made her shrin back in her chair.

I washed her dish along with mine to keep myself busy. I liked the feeling of hot water, it made me feel clean, perfect.
We
went back to my room and put in a movie. The Happening, we just wanted
to laugh at the cheesiness. That was another movie we had watched on
Valentines Day.
I loved the idea of the movie, but it sucked.

I
changed into jeans and a tee and we went out into the woods. Destiny
smoked in my room, many times, but I hated having to douse the room in
my favorite perfume. Not to mention it made my parents suspicious.
We
sat in the middle of the dirt road the construction crew had made when
they tore down the trees. She lit up, I stared, I had smoked for two
months and quit. " You want a drag? "
" No. " It wasn't hard for me
to quit, I wasn't addicted. I snuck one the day after school let out,
trying to get the feeling back of when I first started. I had felt cool
and grown up. I know that was a stupid reason now that I think about it,
but it was nice to let the pain go up in flames.
" How did you quit? "
" I just threw them away. "
" Just like that? " She snapped her fingers, making me laugh.
" Yup. "

" You're a good girl, Marissa. "
" No, I'm not. "
" You stopped smoking and you're pretty. "
" Its a normal thing and no I'm not. "
" Whatever, I'm not going to argue with you. "

She
stood up and dropped the butt and I stepped on it. I always loved doing
that for some reason. I always asked my mom when we went to the store
if I could step on it to put it out. Sometimes she let me.
" Why? " She would ask me everytime.
I
never had an answer for her. I guess it was because I liked how the
life drained out and left a puff of smoke, like magic floating away from
this hellhole.
I heard a buzzing noise and looked down. Destiny's
phone was vibrating. " Its my mama. " She looked confused. Usually
Paige called. " Hey mama. "
We started walking along the road back
towards my house. The road led in a huge circle, that was how I got to
the main road when I snuck out of the house at night.
" Really? That's great! " She squealed. I looked up and saw a dragonfly. I mouthed, I'll be right back.
She nodded. I kicked off my surfer shoes and ran after the dragonfly.
This is sort of a mental picture I had in my head. Me: Running through
the woods with my hair streaming behind me, a bow set on my shoulder.
Barefoot in a deerskin dress, a gem on my forehead. Gracefully, without
sound. The Huntress. In reality, Me: Running through the woods with my
hair streaming behind me, wearing a black graphic tee and blue jeans.
Barefoot and makeup on my face. Tripping over tree roots as I went,
leaves crackling under my toes.

As I rounded a corner on the
path I was following. It wasn't a path in the sense, but a natural one
made by animals. Narrow and twisting, navigating me into a deep part of
the woods I didn't know so well. A fawn and a doe running in front of
me. The sound scared me and I let out a blood boiling scream that echoed
off the trees, bouncing back and deafening me.

Just then Destiny tapped my shoulder. I whirled around fists ready. Then I lowered them, embarrassed. " What are you doing? "
" Don't sneak up on people. " I accused.
" Don't you want to know what's going on? "
" Sure. "
" The charges are dropped. " She jumped up in down, hyper jerky motions.
" That's great! " I hugged her.
"
We're going swimming. " We did a little victory dance in the middle of
the trees. Thank God, none of our neighbors came into the woods except
to hunt. I jumped onto a log and grabbed a branch, swordsman X. Destiny
fell on the ground laughing. " We fight. " I mimicked Mercutio, from
Romeo and Juliet. My favorite movie.
" Isn't that a line from somewhere? "
" Mercutio. "
" I don't like Mercutio, he's so arrogant. "
" That's what makes him great. " I tossed the stick, sending it flying into a tree and shattering to splinters.

The
run home took less time because we had to get our swim suits on. We had
time, but they lived a two minute drive or less away from me. Paige was
packing sandwiches when Destiny hung up from her phone call with
Brandi. I grabbed my one piece and put it on. Destiny laughed. " What? "
I asked. I turned around, no stains or anything.
" Your boobs are
too big. " She giggled. I looked down and sure enough my nipples wer
about to come out the top. " So? " I pulled it up a little and slipped
on my boxer shorts. I brushed my hair back into a ponytail while Destiny
changed behind me. She had a bikini, black and white. I had a bikini,
but I was too self concious. Everytime we went to the park, I ran into
some guy I knew.

Dust and rocks flew as Paige gunned it
and hit the brakes in front of my house. I heard the rythmic knock on
the door; Brandi. She had a way of knocking. One two three, one two
three.
" Hey girl! " She squealed when my mom opened the door. We
scrambled around the room, throwing Destiny's stuff in her bag and
getting towels.
" Mama? " Destiny called through the wall. My room
was next to the living room and the walls were extremely thin. I heard
footsteps on the carpet outside my room. Brandi peeked her head in and
once she saw we were dressed opened the door. " How's my other daughter?
" She hugged me.
" Fine. " I smiled. Brandi was a couple inches taller than me with bleach blonde hair and blue eyes.
" Marissa you look so pretty! "
I
looked down at the floor and blushed. They found it funny how I got
embarrassed at comments. Especially since Destiny's cousins were mostly
guys and all black. Her step dad, Horice, was black.
" You ready to go? " Paige called. She was naturally loud, but she screamed anyway.

I grabbed my shoulder bad and went into the living room. " Bye mom. "
" Do I get a kiss? "
I walked over and kissed her cheek.
" Mama? Can Marissa stay the night? "
" If its okay with Melody. "
" That's fine. Better go get more clothes 'Riss. "
I
jumped over the couch and went back to my room, grabbing shorts, a
couple shirts, my make up bag and my pills. I grabbed my CD case too, we
loved music and blasted it all the time at their house.

" I love you, Marissa. "
" Love you , too. " I muttered on my way out the door.
On the way to Watson't Mill I zoned out as the music
blasted. We blasted Voices. As we went down the highway at seventy-five I
stuck my head out the window and screamed as loud as my lungs allowed
me.
" Marissa! Get you *edit your post and this will go away* back in
here! " Paige screamed. Brandi and Destiny laughed. I stayed there for a
minute before I submitted to the rest of the ride.

"
What made you do that Destiny asked as we went through the covered
bridge. I liked the bridge, but driving in it I was terrified. It was
over two hundred years old and it creaked everytime you made it to the
middle.
" I don't know. "
I hear voices in my head, they come to me, they understand. They talk to me.

I
helped unload the van as Paige tricked the machine into thinking we
paid when we really didn't. It was simple. You got the envelope, insert a
piece of paper and it gives you your pass. I hadn't done this until I
started coming here with Destiny and Paige. I had total freedom with
them. And a set of parents that loved me even if the feeling only lasted
a night or two.

We walked down the path and down the steep
path. Our spot was in the middle of the water. We had to be careful when
manuevering because the rocks we slippery. We had cell phones, Mp3's,
cigarettes, food and other electronics. So we sloly made our way through
the water to our rock where we layed out our towels and everything
else. Destiny and I got in the water, doing flips and stuff. I always
brought condoms so we had water balloons. More than enough times fathers
with young children would stare at us and catch us making inuendos to
Brandi.
I sometimes sat on the edge of a rock watching Destiny, as the lube from the condoms washed off making a rainbow in the water.

" Damn Marissa, you are white. "
I looked down at my skin, pure white ivory against turquoise. I didn't tan it was impossible.

We
went down to the slippery rocks where everyone slid down. I saw Caleb a
boy from school. Great he saw me and waved. I sat on the rock and
watched Paige slide down. Destiny and I put our feet in the deep hole.
It was a hole under a miniature waterfall and it was over six feet deep.
Caleb and some of his friends jumped in. They had followed us down.
Paige and Destiny got in the water. " Come on Marissa! "
I was a little afraid, I had never been in this water and I didn't know what was there.
Caleb came up behind me. " The hardest part is letting go. "
He had no idea.
I contemplated it when I heard a scream behind me. " Snake! "

Paige
and Destiny screamed, scambling up the slippery rocks. I grabbed their
wrist almost falling in, when Caleb grabbed my hips, pulling me back.
The person that screamed was a little boy of about eight or nine. He
stood frozen in the water. No one around besides us, he looked at us
with pleading eyes. Caleb's cousin, Drew, was climbing up the rocks
trying to get away, Paige and Destiny following, leaving me with Caleb
and Cody. I looked at the little boy. I was terrified of snakes, but I
couldn't just stand there. I dived under the water, when I surfaced I
heard Caleb. " Are you friggin' crazy? "
I grabbed the little boy
and I looked, thankfully I didn't see it so I swam back. Destiny and
Paige standing on the moss above the tiny waterfall looking at me with
mouths open in shock. I put him on the rock before me.

He
ran away and I jumped making it before something hit me knocking me
back under the water. I felt a sharp pain to the back of my head. I felt
a little dizzy and saw the surface getting farther away, the light
beginning to disappear.

I felt something grabbing my
wrist, pulling me and then something hard and warm under my back. "
Marissa? " I opened my eyes slightly.
" Ow. " I rubbed my head. Destiny stared back at me.
" Why did you do that? "
" Do what? "
" Save that kid. "
I thought about it. " I don't know, something told me I needed to. "
I thought about it and realized Paige wasn't with us.

" Paige? "
I sat up. She was standing on the rock the little boy had been on when he saw the snake.
" Paige, what the hell are you doing? "
" I'm gonna kill this mother! "
" With what? "
" I don't know! "

I
looked up and saw her mom looking at us from about one hundred yards
away. Destiny and I screamed, ' Snake ' to her, but the waterfall was
too loud. We made serpentine motions with our arms, still nothing.
" I'll go. " I told Destiny. Her eyes were focused on Paige as she nodded.
I
made my way up the rocks, slippery as hell, and almost falling on my
butt a handful of times. I was almost there when I lost my footing. My
foot went in a ballet postion before sliding on the rock scraping and me
faceplanting into it. You want to know something? Rocks in the face...
don't feel that good.