Polygamy has become so mythical in the minds of many people that they assume being Muslim means having four wives. This is a false notion, of course. A very renowned anthropologist, Edward Westenmark, in his two-volume work, "History of Human Marriage," notes that there has been polygamy in virtually every culture and religion, including Judaism and Christianity. But the point here is not to say, "Why blame Islam?" Actually, Islam is the only religion even among Abrahamic faiths, that specifically limited the practice of polygamy that existed before Islam and established very strict conditions for guidance. The question, "How could any man have two wives? That's terrible!" reflects ethnocentrism. We assume that because we're living in the West and it seems strange, and we assume it must apply to all cultures, all times, under all circumstances. This simply isn't true. Let me give you one current-day example. In the savage attack on Afghanistan, genocide was committed on the Afghani people. It is estimated that 1-1.5 million people lost their lives, a great majority of whom were men of a marriageable age. Now, with a great shortage of men, what will happen to their widows, their orphans and their daughters of marriageable age? Is it better to leave them in a camp, with a handout? Or better a man is willing to take care of his fallen comrade's wife and children?
It is obvious that monogamy is the norm for Muslims. If we assume that having four wives is the norm, then we assume a population of 80% female and 20% male, which is an impossibility on the aggregate level. The only verse in the Quran that speaks about polygamy, speaks about limiting not instituting polygamy. The verse was revealed after the Battle of Uhud in which many Muslims were martyred, leaving behind wives and children in need of support. This verse shows the spirit and reason of the revelation.
The Quran placed obedience to parents immediately after worship of God. 3:14 "We commanded mankind to be kind to his parents," and then speaks of the mother. In a very succinct statement, Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, said, "Paradise is at the feet of mothers." Once a man came to him and asked, "O, Messenger, who among mankind is worthy of my kindness and love?" The Prophet answered, "Your mother." "Who next?" "Your mother." "Who next?" "Your mother." Only after the third time he said, "And your father."
As a sister in faith, in blood, we find the Quran speaks about men and women, that they should cooperate and collaborate in goodness. Sura 9:17 speaks about men and women as supporters and helpers of each other, ordaining the good and forbidding the evil, establishing prayers and doing charity. Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) echoed what the Quran said, "I command you to be kind to women." In one of his last commands in his farewell pilgrimage before his death, he kept repeating, "I command you to be kind and considerate to women." In another hadith, he said, "It is only the generous in character who is good to women, and only the evil one who insults them."
On the question of attire, the Quran and the sayings of the Prophet did not say women must adopt a particular dress of a particular country. It only gives basic boundaries, and for a committed Muslim woman, she doesn't follow this simply because her father or husband tells her, but because Allah already stated that as a requirement in the Quran, and was explained through revelation given to Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, that this was not to restrict woman, but to provide a virtuous society where sexual attraction is not the main obsession of everyone. This forces everyone to respect the woman for what she is as a human being, as an intellectual and a spiritual being, rather than being diverted to her sexuality.
Finally, a few words about political involvement. The verse quoted earlier, Sura 9:17, which speaks about men and women being supporters and helpers of each other was taken by some jurists to mean that it involves also public life. How could they ordain the good and forbid the evil without women being active in the affairs of their society? According to the Quran, I'm not talking about the practices of Muslims, in Sura 60:12, we read about Muslim women making "bayyah" to the Prophet. Bayyah as an Islamic term is somewhat analogous, to a degree, to what we would call an election, or oath of allegiance. And that was given in his capacity not only as a Prophet, but as a head of state, as he was already the head of state in Medina.
In the most authentic collection of hadith, Hadith Bukhari, a section is devoted to the participation of women, not only in public affairs, but in the battlefield, too, and not only as logistical support. Women carried arms, and when there was great danger to the Muslims, they volunteered to participate even in the battlefield.
The problems presented here are not the problems of Islam. They are problems of a lack of commitment, lack of application, or misapplication of Islamic teachings by Muslims themselves. The topics I have tried to cover here represent and exemplify the big gap that exists between the true teachings of Islam as derived from its original sources and its projected image in the West and the way some Muslims behave in the disregard of those noble teachings.
There's no question that the Western media has played an important role in perpetuating these misconceptions. But in fairness, we should not blame the media alone. Western culture, in writings about other religions, in particular Islam, have distorted images. From books, novels, even in the academic circle, and sermons from the pulpit in places of worship, these kinds of prejudices are perpetuated.
There are fair and honorable people in the media who are receptive to correction of inaccuracies, and who present the facts, when the facts become manifest, as we have seen in the coverage of the barbaric and cruel treatment of the Palestinians n the Occupied Territories. What I would suggest to the media is instead of depending on the distorted information about Islam, they should keep in touch with educated Muslims, and remember, the U.S. has between 5 and 6 million Muslims. Only through correct representation and open communication with Muslims in America can the media give a fair analysis of current events, given the background of those conflicts, and provide a great service to society
Bismillah, Al Hamdulilah, was salat was salam ala rasoolullah. Allahu 'Alim. (It is Allah who has All Knowledge).
First of all, let us do some basic research here:
A: Read surah An Nisa - all the way through. Then think about the verses.
Do you believe that Allah Knows what He created and He has revealed the perfect 'deen'?
Do you know the condition of the people at the time the order came to restrict the number of wives? (Restricted to only four)
BEFOR ISLAM Men used to bury their daughters alive in the sand, out of shame for having something so low instead of a son.
Women were treated horribly with disgust.
Men could marry as many as they liked and often owned women like cattle or sheep.
There were no laws to protect the women and they had no rights at all.
Christians at that time were holding council meetings to determine whether or not a woman even had a soul.
The church blamed "Eve" the mother of all humans after Adam, peace be upon him, for the "original sin" and damned her and her seed for what she had done. (Islam does not blame Eve for Adam's sin. Each of them accepted their own mistake and repented to Allah and Allah did forgive them)
Women were blamed by the Jews for the "original sin" and as such they were treated with disgust.
A woman's monthly cycle was considered by the Bible to be a "curse from God" for her inequities.
Her child bearing pains were also a 'punishment from God' for her bringing man down from heaven.
Now read the verse very carefully about having more
than one wife. [4:3
وَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلاَّ تُقْسِطُواْ فِي الْيَتَامَى فَانكِحُواْ مَا طَابَ لَكُم مِّنَ النِّسَاء مَثْنَى وَثُلاَثَ وَرُبَاعَ فَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلاَّ تَعْدِلُواْ فَوَاحِدَةً أَوْ مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَانُكُمْ ذَلِكَ أَدْنَى أَلاَّ تَعُولُواْ(3)
What does it say? And what do you understand from it
It means....And if you fear that you shall not be able to deal
justly with the orphangirl, then marry other womenof your choice two or three, or four, but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with them then one ,that is nearer to prevent you from doing injustic
Then read the ayah the forbids men to marry women who are already married. [4:24
وَالْمُحْصَنَاتُ مِنَ النِّسَاء إِلاَّ مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَانُكُمْ كِتَابَ اللّهِ عَلَيْكُمْ وَأُحِلَّ لَكُم مَّا وَرَاء ذَلِكُمْ أَن تَبْتَغُواْ بِأَمْوَالِكُم مُّحْصِنِينَ غَيْرَ مُسَافِحِينَ فَمَا اسْتَمْتَعْتُم بِهِ مِنْهُنَّ فَآتُوهُنَّ أُجُورَهُنَّ فَرِيضَةً وَلاَ جُنَاحَ عَلَيْكُمْ فِيمَا تَرَاضَيْتُم بِهِ مِن بَعْدِ الْفَرِيضَةِ إِنَّ اللّهَ كَانَ عَلِيماً حَكِيماً
Also (prohibited are) women already married, except those whom your right hands possess: Thus hath Allah ordained (Prohibitions) against you: Except for these, all others are lawful, provided ye seek (them in marriage) with gifts from your property,- desiring chastity, not lust, seeing that ye derive benefit from them, give them their dowers (at least) as prescribed; but if, after a dower is prescribed, agree Mutually (to vary it), there is no blame on you, and Allah is All-knowing, All-wise.
Now read from An Nisa about the role of men and women. [4:34
الرِّجَالُ قَوَّامُونَ عَلَى النِّسَاء بِمَا فَضَّلَ اللّهُ بَعْضَهُمْ عَلَى بَعْضٍ وَبِمَا أَنفَقُواْ مِنْ أَمْوَالِهِمْ فَالصَّالِحَاتُ قَانِتَاتٌ حَافِظَاتٌ لِّلْغَيْبِ بِمَا حَفِظَ اللّهُ وَاللاَّتِي تَخَافُونَ نُشُوزَهُنَّ فَعِظُوهُنَّ وَاهْجُرُوهُنَّ فِي الْمَضَاجِعِ وَاضْرِبُوهُنَّ فَإِنْ أَطَعْنَكُمْ فَلاَ تَبْغُواْ عَلَيْهِنَّ سَبِيلاً إِنَّ اللّهَ كَانَ عَلِيّاً كَبِيراً(34)[
Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husband's) absence what Allah would have them guard. As to those women on whose part ye fear disloyalty and ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (Next), refuse to share their beds, (And last) beat them (lightly); but if they return to obedience, seek not against them Means (of annoyance): For Allah is Most High, great (above you all).
Men and women are not the same
They are equal in their beliefs and good deeds of course. But still they are not the same as each other.
Each one must fulfill their role as humans.
Islam is about rights.
and here some of the reasons why woman cant have more than one hasband
Children also have rights in Islam.
When a man dies his wealth is left to his family. How could the court know who to give the wealth of a man, if he was one of several husbands to a woman?
How would a child know who his father was?
No society ever supported the concept of a woman being married to two or more men at the same time. Almost every society supported the concept of a man having more than one woman.
Islam came to set things straight.
Women were given rights.
Men were strictly ordered to treat their women with the very best of treatment.
First of all, the men had to divorce their wives, if they had more than four. So this was not an order to go out and get four wives. It was an order to begin limitations. And the first limitation was; No more than four.
Second, the limitation of equal treatment for all of them. How could a man keep more than one wife unless he was exceedingly wealthy and/or exceedingly strong and virile?
Next, the limitation very clearly states; ".. but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them) then only one ..."
Step by step, the men of Islam have come to be known today as the most monogamous of all men on earth. (we only have one wife)
Check for yourself and see. In the majority of all the Muslim homes on earth, a man gets married once, to one woman and then he stays married to her until the death of either himself or his wife.
It is strange isn't it, a society like America, that condones having sex without marriage, homosexuality, same sex marriages, sex without responsibility, children without fathers and divorces are more common place than the measles or chicken pox, would be so concerned about the way Islam demands that a couple be married, the man actually work instead of the woman and the woman owns her own property without giving anything for the support of the house or the child, a child has the right to his or her own mother raising them instead of a baby sitter or day care, father must support his children, divorce is hated, marriage is sanctified.
Another verse of the Quran says:
وَلَن تَسْتَطِيعُواْ أَن تَعْدِلُواْ بَيْنَ النِّسَاء وَلَوْ حَرَصْتُمْ فَلاَ تَمِيلُواْ كُلَّ الْمَيْلِ فَتَذَرُوهَا
كَالْمُعَلَّقَةِ وَإِن تُصْلِحُواْ وَتَتَّقُواْ فَإِنَّ اللّهَ كَانَ غَفُوراً رَّحِيماً
Ye are never able to be fair and just as between women, even if it is your ardent desire: But turn not away (from a woman) altogether, so as to leave her (as it were) hanging (in the air). If ye come to a friendly understanding, and practise self- restraint, Allah is Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful
but in special circumstances Islam allows Polygamy...and these situations are :
when a wife is barren and cannot bear children but the hasband wants children, it is better to have a second wife than to divorce the barren one. However, the barren wife has the choice to seek separation from her hasband
If the first wife is chronically ill and she is unable to carry out her marital and household chores , the hasband may marry another woman and thus help restore family stability.
and as we said in part one that Polygamy may be the solution to the problem of asociety which has more women than men . this happens especialy after a war.
the proprtion of women to men increased considerably in the countries which took part in the first and second World Wars
A solution to such asituation is marriage to more than one womanby those who are able to and can be fair to each wife... this is better than leaving a large number of unmarried
Islam strictly forbids any sexual relationship
outside marriage. there is no such thing as a mistress
in Islamic society
Islam has given dignity to women by mariege and has protected
them from exploitation of greedy and selfishmen
having more than one wife is better and more dignified than having a number of mistresses.
Islam holds you responsible for your action. you can not
just enjoy women and avoid the responsibilities
of fatherhood, this is inhuuman and unjust
There should be no one -parent families or illegitimate children in an ideal Islamic society
I implore Allah. my creater to accept my effort. Ibeg him to guid and help me to dedicate everything I have for his sake
May He pardon my countless Lapses and faver me
with His mercy and blessings